#ok sorry for oversharing on the internet

[monstrsball]

the thing w having a shitty ex you weren't that attracted to is now you can't decipher whether you weren't attracted to HIM specifically, or if you aren't attracted to men period.

[malikselfindulgence]

Being the bigger person and emailing my mom's inactive email "kys" instead of saying it to her face directly

[sickgraymeat]

Fucked up how I know taking a shower would solve all my problems and perhaps every problem in the history of the universe but I can’t take a real shower bc I can’t get my bandage wet 😢

[wullfric]

Uhhh

My life has been spiralling down since I got out of high school at this point I am unable to diferiantiate one day from the other I sleep for most of the day and rot in bed on my free time I usually only eat a sandwich and tuna every day I do not want to think that I peaked in high school because that souds pretty pathetic but I guess I am pretty pathetic but that is ok because I am kinda into being pathetic anyways I am kinda hoping that university will help me get any sort of motivation for being alive back or maybe to give me some sense of order by having a set schedule and shit

[jessaerys]

in 2017 i went through a horrible depressive episode where i watched mad men all the way through THaREE times consecutively and i was reading and writing a lot of rpf beatles mclennon fanfiction. as a chronic oversharer its been hard not tell this to my loved ones as sometimes it would be objectively extremely funny to reveal but immediately after it stopped being shockingly hilarious it would be absolutely mortifying. im in a 3 year long relationship and ive not cracked anyway POST yassified ferb in love; it would free her (the girl who drew it)

i am holding both of your hands it's okay ages 19-24 i was in a long term lived together relationship and i also never cracked (about pnf yaoi). mad men back to back and mclennon is basically mainstream in this day and age are you kidding me. be cringe and free. i love you. here's the pherbcest

OK SORRY I CANT JUST DROP IT I NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF. CONTEXT: i was 15-16 and living in a highly controlling christian cult hellhome so cartoons were basically the only thing i could watch openly and objectively pnf is a really clever funny and well-written show and my little sister really liked it

also it was the late 00s if you wanted gay you had to diy it in the deepest fringes of the internet (deviantart)

ALSO the concept "what if your parent married another parent and you and your new step sibling were best friends but also fell in love. wouldn't that be so complicated and full of potential drama" is objectively pretty compelling (see: contemporary disney channel show My Life With Derek, which basically had that exact premise)

i'd like to peresonally apologize to dan p*venmire and jeff "swampy" m*rsh

i actually really like these two like ambiancewise. the art is good. two extremely different vibes. the duality of pnf yaoi

bonus pher/bnessa

i must kill myself now

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[calimanc]

Hi beautiful mutuals,

Last week I had a thing happen that I posted about on here and caused some concern for my safety. I then had an oversharing hangover and some gnarly feelings about bringing that part of my life on here because this is supposed to be a fun, safe place for me and I felt like I had sullied that. I tend to withdraw into myself when I don't know what to do so I did that.

I'm OK, I'm safe. I'm still in it but the thing I thought had happened does not seem to have happened. If you reached out to me, thank you so much. It means more than I can say. And I'm so sorry it's taken me some time to check in. I know it isn't fair to say something that makes people concerned for my safety and then disappear. I've got a bit of a shame hangover about that.

I still feel weird about it but I'm making the decision to return to being Normal About The X Files on here because it's something that brings me a lot of joy. I'll try to not do that again because life is hard enough without worrying about an internet stranger's wellbeing. But thank you for caring, you guys are the best. ❤️

[joesmemes]

THINGS SAID IN THE GROUP CHAT SENTENCE STARTERS

Assembled by @sheenathehyena.

I gave you a beach house now be normal

It's just so fucking ridiculous it circles back around to being poignant

I'm fine but what an inconsiderate toolbox

the fucking white boi who is trying to "find himself" that you meet all of once at the beginning

Yeah you want me to shoot my baby batter all over you cover you with almost - children

YOUR PLANET'S HOPE IS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG'S TRANS ASSHOLE

Not sure how to feel about talking to actual fucking yakuza members for entertainment purposes

On a scale of Balan Wonderworld to Silent Hill, how are you dealing with your trauma?

Roses are red, violets are blue, singular they is older than singular you

Concerned Ape noises

You ever think about the fact that [name] really said "the birds work for the bourgeoisie" & they were right

My patience for slipping over improperly spilled blood has run out.

If you can see the bones of your whipped pupil, you failed.

You know the healer's oath: Only do moderate harm to those who cross you.

Man I don't know if lack of shame is a blessing or a curse.

Parsooth m'lady but would you be so kind as to partake of the exquisite past time of role playing?

So they aren't DENYING the piss kink

uhm you need to be more of a doormat…..your boundaries are making me uncomfy 😦

That's HARLEQUIN NOVEL descriptors of sex

where is my mouse arrow? where is it holy fuck

fetishize urself ig

It's always people with feet fetishes or fat fetishes that be so open about it

Look at this unhinged mother fucker

Fuck you I hope your pice of shit family burn in a dumpster fire

Sorry you had to overshare about a tough time with some random chick in school but it's not relavent to my cat at all.

We're at a sword store and it's full of exactly what you'd expect.

Nobody was reading Lemony Snicket going "teehee they made Count Olaf bitch sauce"

Wikipedia I love you but your donation pleas sound like a lying teenager begging for money online

There's no right way to look at the guy that tossed his baby off a cliff and say "I think he needs to look cool for a minute there" is all I'm saying

Okay, wonderful. GREAT, take them all. Please leave immediately

one time I ran a server and I was being weird so I changed literally everyone's nickname to Frank

AKGHDLK I'm gonna SOB they asked if they could share their ticklefics

heavy meals always make me HONK MIMIMIMIMI

I found a fucking book of Mormon lmafo

lemme go take a dump and ill set it up

THREE. THREE TIMES. HE'S BEEN ARRESTED FOR INSIDER TRADEING THREE FUCKING TIMES.

tell her it was you who farted, establish dominance

I have been hoarding vidya games for the three of us to play like a dragon

Nearly had a heart attack because I was poopin and saw blood but realized it was my period

Ok we need to get a big cardboard box and a vaguely feminine scarecrow dressed as a boyfriendless girl

Puts my head in your lap like a cat

Some Filipinos wanna buy your titty mousepads

the chris chan trials are about to be the depp vs heard trial for people who had unrestricted internet access at a young age

Now u will screenshot us talking shit and put it in the callout 😭

GUYS I NEED PROOF THAT [name] IS GAY TO STICK IT TO A 19 YEAR OLD ALT RIGHT IDIOT

🙂 our fursona is gonna b friends with sonic

I both love and hate [name]’s writing. How they go from ancient purple prose to “oh shit oh fuck”

i guess you could say…. this was a triumph

[hiding-in-the-vault]

imagine making au art for some random person on the internet

literally couldnt be me (it was exactly me)

if its unrecognisable im sorry!! its a shitty day but knowing there's dreamxd artists out there makes me feel better (including you!!)

this is my first ask with images so sorry if it doesnt work, i just wanted to show you them because im an oversharer B)

WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Op. Op, im in love. oouugghhh look at thheemm AAAA!!!!! Theyre JuST SOME GUYS!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 im gonna cry FRRR

Ok ok ok I love these sooo muucchh oommmg ;v; XD is soo cool in the second one especially. And Oohh poor Dreamie my Dreamie, he's so sad and lonely!!! Not XD tho, L

Thank you so muchhhh h h hh :'D

[stereopticons]

oversharing on the internet

Thanks for the tags, @jettestar @celeritas2997 and @mostlyinthemorning ! Sorry this took me a minute, I just got home from traveling.

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

No, though I do have the same middle name as my mother. Her primary reasoning for naming me what she did was that she always wanted people to call her a “boy’s” name growing up but no one did and so she made my initials a “boy’s name” so that people would call me it (no one ever has). I wish someone would have told her you can ask people to call you whatever you want.

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

About twenty minutes ago when I stepped on the pointy end of a toothpick that was stuck in a blanket on the floor (welcome home, I guess).

THREE: Do you have kids?

david rose absolutely not dot gif (I searched for it but tumblr hates me)

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I do, but sometimes I feel bad using it because I know many people struggle to understand it but it’s so deeply ingrained in the way I talk

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

For an un-athletic person, I seem to have tried a lot of things: soccer (grades 3-5), swimming (ages 6-15, this is the only one I was actually ok at but quit because it interfered with band), dance (ballet, jazz/modern, ballroom), tennis (one brief summer that my parents were trying to keep us occupied), fencing (college, this was so fun but it was too expensive to keep going), gymnastics (it was called tumbling actually because we were very small), yoga, weightlifting

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

I…don’t know. Is this a thing people know?

SEVEN: What's your eye colour?

Hazel-ish

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

This is a false dichotomy (and I’m bi so that exempts me from choosing between things)

(for legal reasons that’s a joke)

NINE: Any special talents?

Not unless you count making every conversation awkward.

TEN: Where were you born?

In a town that I still have to google to make sure I’m spelling it right.

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

Theoretically, reading, writing, baking, crochet, playing music, staring at large bodies of water but tbh my brain has been so broken lately that I haven’t been doing much of any of them

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

Three small monsters of the cat variety.

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

Completely average.

FOURTEEN: Favourite subject in school?

Does band count? Instead of taking calc my senior year of hs, I took three band classes because I was sure I was going to be a professional musician and insisted that all the math I needed I had learned by fifth grade (jokes on me, I ended up in a v math heavy field!)

FIFTEEN: Dream job?

Sometimes I still fantasize about quitting everything and opening a bakery/coffeeshop/bookstore/bar. Or going to work with the otters at the Monterey Bay aquarium. My ultimate dream musician jobs (see previous question) were to be a Broadway musician and/or own my own recording studio. Sometimes I miss that person.

I’m way late to this but if you didn’t get tagged, please consider this your tag.

[rosquinn]

*steps out of the shadow*

*gives you flower* c can we perhaps-

can we

can we be friends? 🥺💖✨ (I'm training to be a lit nerd btw. to me, classic/ older pieces of literatures are truly fascinating. I've read through your book list and it intrigues me to know that there were someone on this planet that share such love to these masterpieces. I might have merely enough brain cells to type all of this out, but I'd like to know more about you and your interested bc it's that cool. sorry for sounding like an impressionable elementary school kid btw i kinda suck at communication. I should calm down/hj) (sorry if I made a mistake somewhere while writing this ask. also sorry if I overwhelm you with this nonsensical wall of text. also does this count as oversharing? if so, sorry(x3) ) also, if we do have a chance to talk, I'll try my best to not step over your boundaries. pinky promise ; D and last question, do I pass the vibe check? : O✨ hopefully holding the flower, -a person on the internet who isn't a qualified bookworm, but have stockpiled literature at home and is currently waiting to finish their current writing project before consuming them whole like that giant snake Jörmungardr (and also fellow kid with (mild) autism (sorry if it's not the correct term, I'm not sure if 'mild autism' is still a diagnosis or not and I have not throughoutly done my research since I worry so much that this tab would abruptly close while I'm typing.) (wait did it said on your carrd that you're following the milgram series too)(woahh let's go that's amazing!!!!) (. my energy level is almost drained now, so sorry if reading through all of that drains the life out of you too. anyway, I know it's a bit late to introduce myself, but I'm Swaen, I'm currently attending high school. my pronouns are she/her, but they or even he/him is also ok : D I'm also interested in typology as well, and I haven't seen anything in your dni categories that I might fall into, but if there is any, it would seem that I don't have any strong opinion on that topics and most of my beliefs changes overtime as I continue to grow and develop as a person.) whether you reply to this or not, I wish your days are wonderful, happy and full of joyful things. : D

hello!!! yeah ofc we can be friends!! dont worry about the long ask, it was entertaining to read. it's always nice to have new gothlit mutuals

[svnflowermoon]

hey! i'm lucy and i currently use they/she pronouns but this may change! i used to be very active on tumblr but then my mental health got bad and i disappeared off the face of the earth for like 2 years. but now i'm back and i've made a new account to start over!!! this is my little intro post but knowing me i'll write WAYYYYY too much and it'll be a lot less aesthetic than intended but oh well fuck it idgaf. (I've already written way more than i wanted to but idk what to delete ugh) (bare with me i promise I'll get to the point lmao)

ok so I'm lucy, they/she pronouns, and I'm comfortable with petnames (please tell me if you're not bc I kinda automatically use them but I won't if you're not comfy <3)

i'm (basically) 16 (my birthday's tmrw i think I can round it up now lol) and i'm an absolute raging lesbian and i always have far too many crushes for my own good.

i LOVE music and i will actually adore you forever if you give me music recommendations (I'll tell you my honest opinion tho so don't give recs if you're gonna be offended when i don't like it) I tend to listen to pop but I'm open to suggestions :)

if you're an artist and you want to be friends PLEASE tell me because I love having artist friends. bare in mind I'll barely ever post my art (bc i tend to be way too critical with myself) but i will support your art as much as i possibly can <3

the same goes for writing please if you need a friend I'll be as supportive as i can and I can also read through and give advice if you want (I'm surprisingly good at editing lol) (i probably will post my writing bc I'm absolutely shameless when it comes to how shitty my writing is and I literally couldn't care less)

this was meant to be an aesthetic intro post but ig im just not a very aesthetic person lmao (I also make a lot of typos sorry ahaha)

i have a tendency to overshare on the internet have you noticed babes???

i literally cannot write something without telling a whole backstory WHY CAN'T I JUST BE FUCKING PRECISE FOR ONCE SND GET TO THE POINT 😭

basically: im lucy, they/she, very very gay, music = coping mechanism

ok bye i can't write a decent intro post for the life of me but oh welllll

[rainswept]

heh... it seems as if you're not the only oversharer on the internet........ something something. i must commend you, detective..... Okay enough of that. THAT'S SVARY BUT GOOD JOB 😭 . i'll admit i'm a bit embarrassed but what's said and done is said and done and i honestly don't care that much aside from the fact i made the blog when i was like. 14? and it has embarrassing holdovers 🦕

I’M CRYIGN i’m so sorry 😭😭😭 I DIDN’T MEAN TO… it’s ok don’t be embarrassed i didn’t stalk u THAT much i’m not that patient. ur blog seems cool anyway i would totally interact w you first if i wasn’t terrified of everyone and everything. anyway can i follow u back . would that be okay 💔 or i can pretend i never found it 💗💗💗 up to u

[izanagyan]

sooo no hearing urs? thats ok if not 🥺 but just life really thats what inspired me 😁 ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

sorry, I'm not comfortable with oversharing on the internet

[yugotrash]

"from now on leave lesbians alone" "we don't need you boo" ok internet tough guy, you're not the main character of some ya novel, this is a blogging site where people can say whatever they please, anything being said here is neither pushing nor hindering the cause. you all need to grow the fuck up and realize that someone sharing some ideals with you doesn't mean that they are automatically on your side and agree with everything you say, and that when they don't follow your narrative it doesn't mean they betrayed you and you can come and dramatically declare their desertion from the cause. You're talking to randos online, stop being so goddamn hysterical. This is why you people are constantly oversharing about how miserable you are in your blogs, you can't tell me this petulant, holier than thou, with me or against me teenager attitude doesn't creep in your real life. Some people don't align completely with your belief system, I'm sorry Americans convinced you that's a hate crime but it's time to grow up now.

i mean... yeah? as much as id like to think that ask came from a lesbian and speaking from a genuine place it really doesn't matter that much what we say on here and despite what the MRA tehm crew think, despite my politics i am indeed capable of disagreeing with women. lesbians, even

[sw4tch]

vent post do not open

sigh u know what the problem is?

i don’t open up to people. I just don’t. you might think i overshare on here but that’s because this is basically my diary.

everywhere else? closed tomb.

I will die without people knowing my true thoughts. I am always silent.

I don’t speak. I just sit and listen and nod and laugh and look over them all with a placid expression.

Recently i had a meetup with my closest buddies and.

Well it was kind of nightmarish at some points. I had to go and hide myself in the bathroom at times because i was on the verge of a panic attack.

everyone else is so full of life. of interesting things to say. everyone else is happier than me.

And the problem isn’t that, it’s not really envy.

I just end up pitying myself because GOD why am i such a boring fuck?

I have things to say!!! I have interests!! I have passions!! I write 12k word fics, i make elaborate oc stories, i have STRONG opinions about certain movies and i still can’t say a fucking thing for fuck’s sake!

Because... I’m not good at talking. Hah. Maybe that’s why I’ve become so good at writing long, long, looooong entries on here. At least the written word allows me to express myself.

My voice? It fails me. Every time.

.

and, and even when i WANT to text a friend? There’s always a voice telling me “you’re annoying them. shut up”

And I always listen to it.

but also.

Existing is such a lonely experience for me.

I want to share my interests with my friends but.

I know they aren’t as interested in those things as me.

I fucking love talking about THEIR interests, i always bring a 100% energy to those conversations but when i imagine myself sharing??? my interests??? with them???

It’s horrific, the idea that they’ll have to pretend they want to talk to me about it.

Like.

My best friend, i want to share EVERY single fic and art i do with them but.

I just know they have better things to do than to indulge my childish interests.

i mean, fuck it, i pour my heart out, or i share something i’m embarrassed about, and i won’t even get a response sometimes. which SHOULD BE OKAY GODDD everyone is busy nowadays i am DEEPLY AWARE.

but it still hurts when it happens. It makes me think they saw what i shared and they despised it (I KNOW, I KNOW IT’S MY BRAIN LYING TO ME but i still end up believing its lies). and it only solidifies the idea that i can never share what i do because NO ONE CARES.

and. and god. that should be okay, i should be at peace with that because it’s not that deep, it’s not a reflection of my human worth, everyone just has a limited number of effort they can pour on their life, socializing is hard, no one is at my service etc etc but still.

i wish i could talk casually to other friends but i’m always asking myself “is it appropriate? am i bothering them? god, i’m so sorry for existing and ever DARING to want to talk with them”

An online friend i was talking to explicitly said to me “you can always share with me any other thing you want to talk about!” and i still CAN’T.

I want to share my ideas about the thing i��m obsessed with at the moment- here’s my thought process in that scenario.

- instinct: share to best friend > ah but i am worried what they might think of me if they see me pour my heart out and be a dumbass. i think too highly of them. i adore them too much. i care too much about what they think of me > let’s not share with them then

- ok let’s share with another friend that isn’t that close to me but i can still share these things with > no no we’re not close ENOUGH, we’re breaching the social contract here, you’d make a fool of yourself, you’d be actually bothering them, they’d know TOO MUCH about you, and you’re not comfortable being that vulnerable with someone you don’t have that level of trust yet > ok let’s not share then

- let’s share with an internet friend then? > are you INSANE? they have LIVES outside the computer, they don’t have time for you, how many times have you guys even TALKED to decide you can just barge into their dms and start ranting, hell we still need to make a good impression on them so we better. Not talk to them at all ESPECIALLY if you know for a fact this interest on your current obsession isn’t MUTUAL > let’s not share with them in that case

...So in the end i’m left with no one to share with.

You see the problem? That’s why i’m always on this goddamn website. I CAN FINALLY talk about what i obsess and love here.

But...It’s also literally speaking into the void.

You know, I have 833 followers. I know for a fact probably like 60% of those are dead accounts mostly bcus i’ve been here so goddamn long.

But i’ve never really had... a big group of friends here. I don’t really interact with others here other than a reply here, a tag mentioning them there, just... the smallest of interactions.

I have mutuals i genuinely adore, but we don’t talk! At this point i don’t think we ever will because even though we’ve been following each other for so long and i genuinely think they’re cool and funny people- i still cannot fathom a scenario in which i drop them a “hi hello how was your day??” and it’s not weird.

Who am I to think we’re friends?

I just. I’m too deeply aware at all times that connecting with others is. Is inherently a nuisance for them. You’re bothering someone else, and in the best case scenario, they don’t mind and in fact welcome it.

But daring to try and connect that first time? Reaching out? making yourself known??? showing what’s in your mind, in your heart??? god. it’s the biggest social transgression and you have to TRUST the other side likes you enough to welcome your companionship.

And my god.

After reading all of this i just.

Is it any surprise that one day i will drown in my own loneliness?

.

You know, i’ve been obsessing over the magnus archives a lot lately. and i just can’t get The Lonely out of my head.

Because my experience on the internet has just been The Lonely for YEARS now. talking to a void. never able to reach out. never having others reach out to me.

ah. ah there’s the lie. I see you. I see you.

I do have internet friends, i just mentioned them you see. But i guess. I guess my brain doesn’t register them. I think my brain still believes they don’t count because i don’t feel like i can just talk to them whenever i want. (Even though i could. I could... But i guess that’s a hurdle i still can’t get past).

I enjoy talking with them a lot. But usually they have to message me first because i’m too afraid to do so myself haha! ha! ha! it’s so funny it makes me cry!

I want to connect with others so bad but i just can’t.

God why am i like this?

It used to be so easy.

Why am i so afraid?

I just hate the idea of bothering people. Because if I bother them, they’ll hate me, and they’ll be grossed out by me, and. and. and they’ll leave.

But before they do they will be disgusted by who am i as a person, and that’s the worst thing. The Worst Thing I can Imagine.

God, i really do need the reassurance i am welcomed and wanted each step of the way huh? hah. hah. hah. Fail ass snail.

Don’t be cruel.

Don’t be cruel to yourself.

.

Anyway.

The Lonely right?

I live it, I feel it, it’s what surrounds me every day.

And you know how the people in the podcast consistently defeat The Lonely?

It’s with love.

By remembering someone you love. By remembering those that love you. By asserting who you are and what you love.

And it always make me smile.

Truly, love is what will save me. Always.

Love is real. Yes! It’s real, i’m not lying.

But you have to trust in love. You have to trust it.

You have to trust that the people you care about will care about you too. You have to trust that even if you annoy them, they will like you enough to not cut you off from their lives over every little moment in which you weren’t charming.

And you have to trust that your love for your friends is strong on both sides.

Oh Snaily you love so deeply, why can’t you believe it’s reciprocated?

Snaily, you keep your friendships as true as possible, why can’t you believe they’re true on both sides?

Why can’t you believe your friends will like your weirdness? Aren’t we proud to be freaks? You tell them each time they should allow themselves to be cringe and free but.

Are you allowing yourself that?

Oh Snaily, my beloved.

Please be more considerate to yourself. I know you try to be as kind as you can, as quiet, as polite, as little of a problem as possible.

But this is not living. You’re living in a lie, a lie in which you’re never wanted by anyone ever. It’s a lie. It’s a big and powerful and scary lie, but it’s right there in the name as an illusion.

We’re tired of The Lonely, you will need to reach out to get out of it.

I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

Loving and wanting love is a horror but it’s worth loving at its fullest despite it all.

end of post.